Four hours of my life I will never get back. Thank you, Michigan/Michigan State game. I was perfectly happy with my earbuds, listening to Lana Del Rey, but my husband kept tapping my shoulder, because for some reason unknown to me, he thought I gave an actual fuck about first downs and whatnot.
I cannot invent enough curse words that do justice to my level of ‘I don’t give a fuck.’ I would have rather watched Allegiant on HBO than pretend to pay attention to this ‘monumental’ football game. It’s ‘monumental’ every goddamned year, and guess what? The world keeps on spinning, for fuck’s sake. Seriously, people act like their first born children will be cursed with warts or some shit if their team doesn’t win. Michigan State wins every year. There. You’re free to live your lives for-fucking-ever without wasting a single second watching the game.
And now the news is covering the game. Because there isn’t anything more pressing to discuss? Jesus, fuck.