The “Smize”

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This is my look today. I had to have a photo snapped at the local paper to accompany a brief write-up about me and my novel, and my upcoming book signing. The editor did not like my hair. Or my face. She kept trying to fluff up my fine hair. Jesus, fuck. Like, sorry I don’t have wicked thick bouncy fucking hair. (#stoptouchingme #wherehaveyourhandsbeen #iwillknockyouthefuckout) Regarding my face, specifically my mouth, she said, “It IS okay to smile.” Bitch, I smile with my eyes. Haven’t you ever seen America’s Next Top Model??? Hey, Tyra, hey, girl. Anyway, I started cheezin’ it big time because I wanted out of there, like yesterday. So what if my bunny teeth smile is crooked. She fucking asked for it.

28 Comments

    1. Your comment reminded me that the other day, I was in a foul mood over answering cut and paste interview questions from this editor, and Jim said I didn’t need to be assy. I told him it’s ARSEY, thank you very much. LOL

      Liked by 2 people

  1. Hahaha. Omg what an absolute douche. Carol and I once appeared on a TV game show and we were taken into makeup where this wrinkly old bitch was assigned to do mine. I was seriously overweight at that time. I had been seriously overweight for yearssss. WOB started touching up my makeup and close up, I could see that she had leathery skin that had been tanned within an inch of its life. She was also desperately skinny, like Skeletor. I did not expect what next came out of her mouth.

    “Have you ALWAYS been fat?”

    WTAF? I want to say I retorted with something like “have YOU always resembled an old man’s scrotum?”, but of course, I didn’t. I did feel like crying though. WOB!

    Liked by 2 people

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