Now, I’m a Giraffe

I used to envision myself as a lioness–fierce, an animal force to be reckoned with.

But then I watched an episode of Planet Earth, and some lionesses were chasing a giraffe. The giraffe had a good lead, given the length of its legs. One lioness closed the gap, but as she attacked, the giraffe was like, “Sorry, stupid!” and kicked the fuck out the lioness’ head. The giraffe escaped to live another day–or another hour, who knows for sure.

I had no idea a giraffe could be savage as fuck.

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