The cardinal in my dreams…
I saw the tubes, and I wanted to undo them; “stay with me,” I wanted to say.
Instead, I said, “It’s okay. You’ve fought so hard, and it’s okay if you have to go.”
Every day I wake up, and I know you’re gone. Every fucking day, I have to tell myself you are not alive–you are not home. I have your glass bowl, the one that you’d filled with goulash and sent home with me one day last winter…the glass bowl that now sits empty on my bookshelf.
Aunt Denise, did you ever finish reading my novel? I’ll never know. All I know is that you were proud of me.
All I know is that you loved me.