Late afternoon, yesterday, I was tending to my blog–reading my friends’ and catching up with comments. Whenever I receive a “like,” “follow,” or comment notification from someone I’m not familiar with, I always click to view their WordPress site. You, Bag of Dicks, ruined a perfectly good mood–a mood I don’t feel much of anymore, fuck you very much.
To my dismay–no, sheer horror! I clicked on your blog link to check you out. Because I’m a fucking nice person; I wanted to give your blog a look-see, and possibly “follow” you in return. But instead of finding a lovely blog, my screen froze, and a dialog box appeared explaining that my computer had been compromised by Trojan malware–you fucking prick–and that it was imperative I phone the Windows technicians at such and such number to resolve the issue (so we can steal all of your fucking money, max out your credit cards, assume your identity, and steal your awesome manuscripts).
That’s not how shit works, dude–Windows doesn’t do pop-ups. AND!!! I know I have a fully functioning firewall, you pathetic donkey fucker. I feel badly for all of those you have tricked with your scam. Shame on you! I wish I could junk punch you! I’d make you infertile, I would junk punch so hard!
Go to Hell and wait for me there, asshole.
Kindra M. Austin